Well, it’s my birthday.
And I’m not big on my birthday. It’s not that I mind getting older. I guess because I always have too high of expectations for a perfect day. But I never really know what that perfect day is supposed to be. And damned if I’m always upset the day after my birthday for not taking advantage of having a whole day about me. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve never had a bad birthday, though my mum might say differently (yes, I cried at a lot of my parties as a kid). And, I don’t have many close friends around to celebrate with me. I’m a bit of a loner introvert at heart I suppose.
I’m also really shy about attention. And you wouldn’t think I’m shy if you know me, but it’s true. I hate public praise or compliments about my work or myself, even though I secretly really need it. But I usually feel guilty or embarrassed when I’m positively acknowledge. Pretty terrible, huh? So even a “Happy Birthday!” makes me want to skitter back to the safety of my dogs at plants.
This year, I’m once again feeling the birthday blues. Finances are tighter so we aren’t headed out to anywhere exciting or to do anything special. Aside from that, Bay Area blows for being able to travel anywhere in a reasonable amount of time anyways. Sorry SF, even a cheap day in the city isn’t worth the drive on weekday. Don’t fret about my birthday mopes though. My hubs always makes the day a bit more special for me somehow or another, my mum always spoils me with smiles and hugs and fun gifts and yummy treats. I also share my birthday with a very great man, something of which I’ve always been very proud.
You might be thinking, “Why are you posting about your birthday if you can’t handle a ‘Happy Birthday!’?” I’m trying to turn over a new leaf, to be more outgoing and to be more accepting of compliments and to have a lot more confidence and self-love. It comes with the territory of having two businesses that force me to interact with a lot of people and share my creativity. I’m also trying to be more real and share more vulnerabilities. Because surely I’m not the only one who gets a bit blue on their birthday, right?
Life isn’t perfect, days can be disappointing, but you know what? It’s getting easier each year I grow older to hold less expectations, take more birthday salutations and not be such a bummeroni. This morning I’ll start my day with a smile and be grateful that I’ve been blessed with another year on this earth. Happy Birthday me. ❤️ 🎉